


Unexpected (what you did to my heart)

by Changdeol



Series: MG, canon compliant, drabble series [2]
Category: TharnType the Series (TV), เกลียดนักมาเป็นที่รักกันซะดีๆ | TharnType: The Series (TV) RPF
Genre: Canon Compliant, M/M, Pre-Relationship, Slice of Life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-15
Updated: 2020-04-15
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:14:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,165
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23672134
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Changdeol/pseuds/Changdeol
Summary: It's the charity event where Gulf maybe realises some things about himself.
Relationships: Mew Suppasit Jongcheveevat/Gulf Kanawut Traipipattanapong
Series: MG, canon compliant, drabble series [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1704388
Comments: 9
Kudos: 147





	Unexpected (what you did to my heart)

A considerable crowd, clearly audible screams, in some cases flashes of cameras. Attention, in general.

It never got old for Gulf, no matter how much he forced himself to get used to it. There was always a moment when it first overwhelmed him and he turned left and right, almost as if trying to find his balance amidst the chaos. He hadn’t gone through this routine nearly often enough as of yet but he knew that once December came and then the series finished, there would be more and more things to do and places to attend. He knew that he both hoped for such popularity and dreaded it.

But his anchor was also always there for him, without fault. So close that if Gulf only wanted to, he could easily reach out and grab P’s hand, which he obviously didn’t dare do though as of lately, found himself really compelled to. _P’Mew will always protect me,_ was what Gulf once said with full confidence, but he could have never imagined how radically the context of his words was bound to change. And yet, Gulf’s trust in P’ somehow hadn’t wavered.

Gulf didn’t know if charity events were supposed to be considered fun, but since childhood he’d always liked them a lot. First at school where the teacher gave out candy for their students’ small contributions and then later growing up, when his family really taught him the meaning of sharing. His grandmother always said that the gift of giving to others brought the kind of satisfaction that was invaluable in comparison and now, entering his twenties, Gulf really felt it to be true.

He still liked to be spoilt from time to time – after all, he had retained some of his _mummy’s boy_ attitude. But he was beginning to understand that nothing could make him happier than seeing his close ones appreciating and enjoying his efforts towards them.

This particular event was also meaningful because it was the first time since January that Gulf’s father actually acknowledged what was slowly becoming a full time job for him. The chaos surrounding his son that clearly wasn’t going to stop any time soon. Gulf inwardly sighed at the thought, though it wasn’t an upsetting one. It wasn’t that his father was opposed to acting – or acting with men, to be precise. Gulf also knew that he respected and liked P’Mew just fine. His father usually just preferred to stay at the proverbial side lines, advising when necessary but otherwise a silent supporter. Gulf knew that and it was usually enough but recently, as the pressure became bigger, he really craved the more verbal approval that ultimately only parents could provide.

As it was usually the case between fathers and sons, it was difficult to communicate such needs to the other. But his father came through and congratulated him on the fundraiser idea first. Though he said little, he was obviously proud of Gulf. They’d always had a good relationship but such vocal praise really made Gulf’s day, if not week. He was in high spirits since morning.

‘Ready?’ P’Mild was there, too, and so was Kaownah, somewhere at the back. P’Mew was standing close to Gulf’s right, fumbling with his open collar. Gulf watched him struggle with the stubborn tag at the back for a short moment longer before a wave of temporary boldness caused him to extend his own hand and swiftly flip the offensive piece of clothing into its rightful place. P’Mew briefly shivered, taken by surprise by the touch at the back of his neck but turned to Gulf just as fast, sending a small smile in thanks.

‘Hey, hey!’ P’Mild cleared his throat loudly. When he got their attention, he unceremoniously rolled his eyes which made Gulf laugh a little.

P’Mild was really something else but Gulf could easily understand why P’May had wanted him in the cast from the start. He was a natural and had a great comedic timing. Off-screen, he was also extremely approachable and easy-going. Although there was a couple of years between them, Gulf couldn’t really feel any seniority hindering their relationship. On the other hand, Kaownah was that witty (and sometimes annoying) _know-it-all_ nong who had also quickly become a close friend. The two of them didn’t have nearly enough scenes together in the series for Gulf’s liking because the other was fun to be around.

Eventually, all of them walked up front and greeted the fans. Gulf tried to sincerely look at everyone standing before him, though he couldn’t say that he wasn’t a little glad that the attention dispersed among more people today, rather than just P’ and himself. Naturally, Gulf had to say a few words about the event but he could otherwise take a mental step back and let P’ take reigns. He was the more charismatic of the two and more importantly, willingly taking charge. There was usually no need for Gulf to become unnecessarily stressed over what he was going to do or say. Granted, he was sometimes asked to do things for the benefit of their fans but he had long stopped being shy or uncomfortable.

If anyone, Gulf could easily tell that it was P’Mew who always ended up being more self-conscious between them. Gulf’s self-confidence might not have been so exponent but to be fair, he also wasn’t the one with all the dirty laundry. As they were standing there and P’Mew began talking about something related to their show, Gulf briefly wondered if things would ever change between them. Whether there would be a time when P’ let go of his reluctance, which at this point Gulf felt that was being purposely weaponised against him. It made Gulf a little at a loss. Today was no different – after all, P’s hand was comfortably resting of Gulf’s shoulders as he spoke yet Gulf could tell that there was no intimate intention behind it. The action was more automatic and calculated.

It was a strange feeling, to be so physically close to somebody yet having that person simultaneously making themselves completely emotionally unavailable. Admittedly, it hadn’t previously bothered Gulf as much as it did most recently. During the workshops and later the shooting of the series, there was an implicit assumption that physicality was key to building up the tension and Gulf was not really the type to overthink. It was a job for everyone involved and even if they were on friendly terms, there was no obligation for anyone to feel emotionally attached as long as they played their parts right. Gulf had initially thought it clear and found himself following the same patterns.

So why had he suddenly begun feeling cheated? When had he learnt to expect something that was never in any way promised to him? It was an empty and frustrating feeling that Gulf saw no way out of, as of right now. Usually, he would face the problem head on but… What exactly _was_ the problem?

The MC was doing his job alright. There were some questions about the series but then there were naturally also the questions which hinged upon the little details of their privacy which slipped through the cracks of their carelessness during an interview or while posting on their SNS.

‘Yes, I guess there was something you could call a small misunderstanding between us,’ Gulf replied diplomatically, wishing for the topic to die down quickly though the chances of that were pretty small. Fans liked to fixate over said details of their celebrities’ lives because it made them feel closer and Gulf couldn’t blame them for it. The only thing he could do was to make sure that he didn’t sell out the really important parts of his life.

‘I really cannot remember what it was about anymore… It happens sometimes, people fall out.’

P’Mew looked genuinely ponderous and Gulf would have been easily fooled alongside dozens of bystanders accompanying them – except he knew for a fact that it couldn’t be true. If anyone it would definitely be P’ who was the only one privy to the real reason behind the most recent two silent days they had just endured between them. Because honestly? Gulf himself still hadn’t fully grasped the idea behind the spat they had merely a few days ago.

‘But you did say that in the end you were the one to reach out to nong first…’

‘Oh,’ P’ made another troubled face before smiling. ‘I did that because nong Gulf generally doesn’t know how to _ngor_ others...’

‘I did approach you first that time though,’ Gulf had to argue despite the nagging feeling that everything that’d just been said about him was the truth.

‘When did you?’ P’ looked at him. There was no agitation from his part, there couldn’t have been considering the audience they had. But the subtle edge in his gaze told a different story. The matter was far from over, Gulf had no illusions about that. Which sucked for Gulf, really, because he still had no idea what his crimes were.

‘Of course I did,’ Gulf insisted weakly, trying to play it out in a joking way. 

And he probably had, in some roundabout way. He didn’t lack manners, after all. What he did lack though, were the two things that in his opinion were almost indispensable in the art of reconciliation. The first one was the skill to read the mood; the second, the ability to be deliberately pliant. Without either, it was rather difficult to understand things which were not explicitly said and later seek the favour of the one you offended.

P’Mew was not the sort of person to tell Gulf things which he personally thought Gulf should realise by himself. In the months they’d spent together, they were both beginning to learn how to be more sensitive and intuitive about the other’s personality and needs but even so, Gulf feared that regardless of their closeness, such miscommunications would occur from time to time. P’ could sometimes be a little proud and stubborn but it was also true that he was usually the first one to give in. He obviously had a soft spot for Gulf and didn’t hold his grudges for too long, especially after he’d realised that Gulf was genuinely clueless about its source.

‘Only because I told you to.’ P’ eventually settled for a light chuckle, clearly having no strength nor patience to drag the topic out any longer.

‘Well, otherwise I wouldn’t have known at all you were upset,’ was the last thing Gulf replied with straight to the microphone before leaning in closer to P’ to add another thing in private. He didn’t want to it to end on a sour note. ‘I did apologise, didn’t I? I’ll apologise again. Please, forgive me _na_.’

Being cute was never Gulf’s forte – in fact, he didn’t really believe that he could consciously control his behaviour like that. The subjective opinions on his loveliness had recently multiplied thanks to his fans but Gulf always thought that he was too blunt for anyone to think him docile. The impression of cuteness was always born out of the perception of one’s weakness and passivity – and Gulf had never really been in a position where somebody other than his parents would seek to take care of him. Trying to _ngor_ the way that was usually expected felt too inauthentic for Gulf to even want to try.

But it did somehow worked on P’. Gulf saw the first tremble of lips, as if P’Mew fought an internal battle against himself not to make it too easy for Gulf to win him over. But it was in vain – a big bright smile eventually bloomed on his face and he nodded, accepting Gulf’s words. P’ clearly had a soft spot for Gulf, but it’s not like Gulf himself hadn’t already noticed.

It used to puzzle him but now, it strangely made him hopeful. Hopeful for what, he didn’t know yet. But P’Mew never did anything half-heartedly. Some time, somewhere along the way he had clearly decided to become responsible for Gulf and he’d been doing exactly that. At times, it went far and beyond what Gulf would expect of even his blood sibling. The attention, especially that which he received away from the spotlight, made him strangely restless.

He had never suspected himself to be somebody who’d like being excessively coddled like that, but perhaps it was him who had been ultimately won over. After all, he settled into the new situation without as much as a word of protest. Coming from anyone else, it might have been awkward but with P’, it felt like a natural development.

More than seeing, Gulf felt the movement behind his own back and he turned to look at P’Mild and Kaownah high-fiving, which caused him to roll his eyes and chuckle. He could easily deduct what that was about.

‘Why do you always have to argue with nong?’ P’Mild was always quick when it came to verbal sparring and he was clearly in a teasing mood. P’Mew chuckled.

‘What argument did we have now?’ When he realised P’Mild was still on about the same thing, P’Mew added. ‘It’s not that I’m so particular, he really just didn’t know what he did!’ It came out unintentionally whiney which spurred the rest to laugh. Gulf joined in, though the words once again brought him back to the same problem. If he didn’t soon get to the bottom of this, it would surely backfire right in his face in the least opportune moment during their next fallout.

Everything started two days after his visit to P’s house. The day before, Gulf had ended it with his girlfriend and although he couldn’t say that both of them hadn’t seen it coming, in a long run it was still upsetting. In anger, the girl said a few words which given a choice, Gulf would rather not have heard but nonetheless agreed that they just never had the time for each other anymore. Gulf tried to persuade her that was the main reason but he didn’t think that he fully convinced her. She probably thought he’d caught a celebrity disease and didn’t feel that she was good enough for him anymore.

Overall, it wasn’t a relationship that one would describe as very long-term but it was one just long enough for the two involved to should be able to feel the loss. Gulf had spent the rest of the afternoon deciding what the new situation meant for him. Admittedly, the conclusions seemed a little selfish – not much would change, except that now he was available and ready to move on.

Gulf didn’t know why that particular point was the first thing which popped to his mind but it was too late to stop that train of thought now. While on the phone with P’ the next day, Gulf mentioned the occurrence. P’ had been generally aware of his relationship though they never discussed the details. It used to be just another wall standing between them, seeing how everyone involved had had to juggle between maintaining the illusion for the fans and yet never taking it too far to upset anyone, Gulf’s now ex-girlfriend included.

‘You what?’ P’Mew’s voice turned strangely quiet when he finally reacted to the news.

‘I broke up with her. I think we could both tell that it just wasn’t going anywhere. So now I’m single and ready to mingle.’ The lame joke turned awkward as soon as Gulf voiced it out loud. P’ didn’t say anything. He just ended up humming shortly though it didn’t feel like a sound of either approval or acknowledgement.

‘Why did you do it, though? You didn’t even try to talk to her about it?’ Gulf frowned at the edge in P’s tone. It was so eerily calm that in reality, it couldn’t have been anything but frustrated.

Gulf still tried to play it down, considering he had no idea what caused this sudden change of mood.

‘Isn’t it for the best? The media will finally focus on the series and not on my personal issues.’ Once again, he regretted the statement as soon as it left his mouth because the double meaning behind it was clear. _They can just ship us without distractions_.

‘That’s not the point,’ P’ argued, his voice now progressively more upset.

 _Isn’t it though?_ Gulf wondered, seeing how agitated P’ was becoming. Did he suddenly not want to be shipped with Gulf? It was a little too late for that. Not to mention, all this while it was P’s care towards Gulf that made their ship so popular and had caught the fans’ attention in the first place. Gulf was still a newbie to all this and was only now settling in and becoming comfortable with returning the affection without embarrassment.

‘Are you angry at me?’ Gulf felt the need to clarify because he was obviously missing something.

‘Ang-‘ P’ took a deep breath on the other end of the line. ‘No, I’m not angry. I just… I just think you shouldn’t have acted so rashly. You could have talked to her a little more. People your age always-‘

Gulf couldn’t help but let an airy chuckle at that, but it was laughter completely devoid of humour. He was usually easy-going but when provoked, he could turn really nasty. He didn’t even know what he did that was so wrong but he definitely wasn’t about to let anyone get to him, not even P’Mew.

‘People my age? Don’t patronise me-‘

‘I’m just saying that it’s always only black or white with you-‘

‘Don’t you raise your voice at me,’ Gulf interrupted him again, this time his voice positively icy. ‘I don’t appreciate that.’

It was only then that P’ must have realised he had unconsciously tried to verbally accost Gulf because he fell silent, taking yet another audibly deep breath which he clearly needed.

‘I’m sorry,’ he apologised. ‘That was completely uncalled for.’

‘Apology accepted,’ Gulf decided, mostly just to put at least one insignificant issue behind them. He tried to be the better man in this… Whatever this was. ‘But I still don’t understand. What is the problem now?’

There was yet another pause after which P’ said,

‘There is no problem, you’re right. I don’t know what’s got into me. No problem,’ he repeated and hastily said his goodbyes. Gulf’s mouth fell open at having been so unceremoniously cut off and he stared at the receiver in an almost comical manner for a longer moment before huffing to himself.

That meant that there definitely _was_ a problem.

They spent the next two days not talking and as much as Gulf felt ill at ease about the situation, he refused to be the one to try and reconcile. Not after he was treated this way over nothing.

P’Mew finally came over to Gulf’s family house in the morning of the MCM event. Part of Gulf felt bitter because the elder came through at the last minute and he might have done it only because they had work but he thought better of it. P’ looked genuinely guilty and Gulf couldn’t really be mad at him. Not when he knew that P’ tended to make personal sacrifices for Gulf’s comfort and often prioritised him over his own preferences when together. He probably had a valid reason for his anger, it’s just that they had failed to communicate about it.

In the end, both apologised for their reactions, even if Gulf never really learnt the reason behind the fight. However, if he had somehow made P’Mew feel bad with his attitude, it was only fair to acknowledge it. He just wanted to put it behind them.

Naturally, he should have known that it would sooner or later come back to bite him in the proverbial arse.

‘Nong?’ P’Mild called out to him and Gulf turned around as if through the haze, only to receive the donation box that he was in charge of.

The event went on and he could no longer afford to be distracted. Interactions with fans were always nice and still a little surprising because why of all people they chose to support him, he had no idea. The only thing he could do was try and repay their kindness with hard work.

From time to time he would catch P’s gaze over somebody’s shoulder. Gulf sent him the biggest smile he could muster and P’ returned it, looking almost relieved. Could it be that the earlier anecdote affected him as much as it did Gulf? P’Mew seemed much more relaxed now comparing to the beginning of the function though, so Gulf relaxed as well.

There were more questions and photos that followed but admittedly, Gulf mostly concentrated on the heat of the arm that rested on his waist for the remaining of the afternoon. He moved closer, laughing with the rest but his thoughts continued to drift.

Why exactly was P’s problem? It certainly wasn’t Gulf’s now ex-girlfriend. Was it the _absence_ of said girlfriend, then? Why would it be a problem? Wasn’t it just a personal, completely non-related issue anyway?

Just then, P’ let go of Gulf, moving just a little further away and started waving at the fans. Gulf stepped to side with him, closing the gap between them to which P’Mew took another step away. The whole process lasted barely seconds and went virtually undetected but Gulf felt the difference. When he looked to P’, the elder man met his eyes but looked away just as fast.

 _There we go again_ , Gulf thought, somewhat resigned. _We’re now performing_.

Was it a problem that Gulf was now single? Considering what happened to P’ the previous year, maybe so. Maybe the idea of Gulf’s relationship somehow felt like a shield to P’ and he relied on it for self-protection. But they’d already been out in the spotlight so many times and P’Mew didn’t look particularly scared. The issue had been cleared up, no matter what the haters continued to insist on.

Gulf looked at P’ again and noticed that he was now being watched. Gulf knew that gaze well, too – affectionate though also conflicted. It appeared whenever Gulf was down or tired, or sometimes upset. Gulf wasn’t usually childish but it made him want to take advantage of P’s attention because in moments like that, there was simply no way that P’ would turn him down, no matter what Gulf asked for.

Maybe P’s soft spot for him was bigger than Gulf had imagined. _Maybe it wasn’t a soft spot at all._

They gave their final _wai_ to the audience and said their goodbyes to the rest of the cast at the door soon after. They walked a little longer together, with the managers leading the way to their respective cars.

Gulf fell half a step behind P’ and looked at his retreating back for a moment before something suddenly dawned on him. It was like a fog has lifted and some pieces finally fell into place.

‘P’Mew,’ Gulf called out, making P’ turn around. He caught up with the elder and lightly touched his arm. ‘Come see me in the evening.’

‘Oh?’ P’ frowned, looking equally perplexed and amused at the suggestion.

‘Come have dinner with me. Just the two of us,’ he added, making it a point to hold his gaze. A range of emotions passed through P’s eyes, from confusion to unease and apprehension and finally to the regular gentleness he seemed to reserve for when he looked at Gulf.

‘What gives?’ He finally asked. Gulf didn’t explain, he only repeated,

‘Please, _na_.’

P’ remained confused but it was clear that he was giving in. Resigned, though not exactly unhappy, P’Mew responded.

‘Should I come around seven, then?’

Gulf nodded eagerly, putting his toothy smile to good use. P’Mew smiled back, now squinting his eyes at him almost suspiciously, like he couldn’t figure out where the trap was in the sudden invitation.

But there was no trap, there was only a sudden realisation. Of course Gulf couldn’t have known what the reason for their previous argument was. It’s not like P’Mew could just confess something like that. But after the painstaking elimination process, Gulf was now almost sure that it had a lot to do with P’s feelings towards him which might not be brotherly at all and which, knowing him, he was probably agonising over as inappropriate and unwelcome.

He was just scared. Maybe that he’d step out of line or maybe that Gulf would now notice, like he just had.

That was all naturally just a guess.

What wasn’t a guess though, was Gulf finally realising that he had harboured a big, fat crush on his P’ for what now seemed like months.

And since he’d never been known to be subtle, a direct confrontation was in order.

**Author's Note:**

> Since I got some feedback on the first drabble, I decided to add some more... I hope you enjoy. Please leave some comments and kudos here as well.
> 
> Obviously, this is canon compliant but merely reimagined. I don't know any of the real people and I took liberties in how I interpreted the events that we, as fans, know happened.


End file.
